Why Newton committed suicide

Here is the reason.

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.... Bang...the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives.

Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton Commits Suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Santa Singh & Banta Singh

Sardar Aur Uski Kahani......
Suno Meri Jubani
 
Boss: Where were you born?
   sardar : Punjab ..
   Boss : which part ?
   sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.


Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.


Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.


Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.


How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....


Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.


A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he
crying?


Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!


NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE :
 
In an
interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist:
Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

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Difference between a CAR launch and a TRUCK launch

Difference between A car launch and a truck launch Scroll Down . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

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Kissing test ..

 This is really funny…

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An Honest farewell mail

Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory. " That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 12 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Rudy: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Steven: I will miss detecting your farts as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.

To Eileen: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these "email forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck.

To Felix: I left a new wristwatch on your desk. It is so that you might be able to still tell time even without your hourly phone call to let me know the copier is jammed.

And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,
Kris

Two new additions to periodic table of elements

Element name:                  WOMAN

Symbol:                               WO  

Atomic weight:                  (don't even go there)

Physical properties:           Generally round in form. 

                                              Boils at nothing and  may freeze at any time. 

                                              Melts whenever treated properly. 

                                              Very bitter  if mishandled.

Chemical properties:          Very active. 

                                              Highly unstable.  

                                              Possesses strong  affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 

                                     Volatile  when left alone. 

                                     Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. 

                                    Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.  

Usage:                           Highly ornamental. 

                                              An extremely good catalyst for dispersion  of wealth. 

                                              Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.  

Caution:                         Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.    

Element Name:                  MAN  

Symbol:                               XY  

Atomic Weight:                  (180+/-50)  

Physical properties:           Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of  shape easily. 

                                              Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.  

                                     Difficult to find a  pure sample. 

                                    Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct  electricity as easily as young samples.  

Chemical properties:          Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.  

                                              Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. 

                                    Becomes explosive when  mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time.  

                                     Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.  

Usage:                           None known. 

                                              Possible good methane source. 

                                    Good specimens are  able to produce large quantities on command.  

Caution:                         In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and  begins to smell.

Great illusions -try these!!... amazing

Is it a Frog or a Horse?	Beauty lies in the eyes of Beer - Holder
"Are You Drunk"	"Behind the Success of every man, there is a woman." Amazing picutre! Just press CTRL+A to select all and you will know why it is so. ..
If you watch the below images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr.Angry is on the left, and Mrs.Calm is on the right. Get up from your seat, and move back 12 feet, and PRESTO!! They switch places!! This proves that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all the time!!

BREAKING NEWS - New Rules set by ICC for Teams travelling To Australia

(1)   Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
 
(2)   While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 meter distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
 
(3)   While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIPas the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.
 
(4)  UMPIRESshould consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board .
 
(5)    All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.
 
(6)        MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAMadvices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.
 
(7)     NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.
 
(8)  THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

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